Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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