its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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