No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
