if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize