sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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