I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
