Me too!
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
