Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
