it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
