i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
