Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
