dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
