I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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