Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
