yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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