And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
