it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
