like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize