the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
