I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
