im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
