shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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