Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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