that's an acceptable place to lick
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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