is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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