Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
