You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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