Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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