Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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