piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
