just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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