Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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