we're blogging at a bar
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
