I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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