Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize