About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
