I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
