my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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