Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize