Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
