she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
