the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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