Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize