I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Randomize
