Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
