3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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