dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
