i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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