That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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