I wannas sexs uuuuu
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
