I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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