READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
