You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
