Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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