Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
