I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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