Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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