So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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